Why Kids Trust Their Peers More Than Their Parents

We live in a world where adolescents are known to rebel against their parents. As parents, we dread our kids entering middle school because we fear that is the developmental stage in which they will “hate us.” They will establish friendships with other children and we can only hope that those friendships will be positive influences. Will our kids hang out with the bad kids—the kids who skip school or do drugs? Will grades start to drop?

What can we do to keep our kids close to us? There’s a physician by the name of Gabor Maté who has written books on peer orientation. He also facilitates seminars for parents to learn how to communicate and interact with their children in a loving and understanding manner. Maté addresses the compass point as a function of attachment. In a child’s life, their parent(s) and/or teachers become compass points. Children were meant to revolve around their parents. So why is it that more and more children are revolving around other children instead? If a child replaces the parent for a peer as their compass point, then they are less likely to refer to a parent for guidance and support. Thus, another child, or peer, becomes the person they turn to for understanding. 

This book is worth reading because it not only educates parents on why kids stray from them, but it provides practical strategies that can be used in day-to-day life to regain their children's trust.

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Put Down That Knife and Read the Label

Let me start by saying that I am in no way an expert on nutrition or dieting. My upbringing consisted of eating decomposing animals (yes, that's what eating meat is all about), beans and some type of rice. If the rice wasn't white, you best believe it had some type of artificial coloring in it. Azafran much? On a more serious note, have you ever taken the time to read the ingredient label of what you buy? We often times invest more time on reading the labels of the clothes and shoes we buy than we do on what we eat. The foods we ingest have long-term effects on our bodies and brains. 

Real talk. We live in a society of quick fixes, of instant gratifications and countless choices when it comes to drive thrus. Yes, we are programmed to like conveniences. So, coming from a long family history of cancer, high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes and even mental illness, I've had to educate myself on what and how I eat. In addition to my own curiosity, a friend of mine has opened my eyes to the issue of overall health and well-being. 

I'd like to introduce this blog with a book I think everyone should read. It was an introduction for me to pay more attention to what I eat. In essence, it is about how damaging meat, dairy and coffee are to our health. 

Click above to order the book

Visit Skinny Bitch Web site

I also highly recommend the documentary:

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Also available on Netflix

There is a lot of information out there, so do your research. Knowledge is power! Stay tuned for more to come.

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The Eight Components of Wellness

When you hear the word "health," what does it mean to you? Honestly, what comes to mind if you were to play word association with it? Health and wellness are used interchangeably in the helping professions and rightfully so.

When a person is healthy, they are viewed as being "well." So what makes us healthy? What barometer do we use? If one area of our life is unwell, are we less healthy? As we try to match our ying to our yang, let's think about the key areas of our lives in terms of wellness.

1. Emotional Health - We all get angry or sad sometimes, but if most of your days are filled with negative and overwhelming thoughts, what are you doing to change your mind state? When seeking emotional wellness, mental health professionals suggest being introspective and self-reflecting to identify what makes us angry or sad and what activities make us happy or excited. Are we subjecting ourselves to more activities that induce stress, anger and sadness? Are we willing to seek help when we need it most?

2. Environmental Health - We've all seen ads about saving the planet and not littering, but are we making conscious choices to do things like recycle and save on natural resources? The environment isn't just the outdoors. Are your indoors providing a safe and nurturing environment for your family? Personal safety is also crucial to environmental wellness. Being aware of one's surroundings and what poses a threat to personal safety is a vital part of environmental health.

3. Intellectual Health - Maintaining an open mind and exposing oneself to a broad range of activities is key to being intellectually sound. Exploring different world views and having productive interactions with people of other cultures and religions can help us learn from one another and be more empathetic and understanding of others.

4. Physical Health - Some may think being healthy physically involves visiting one's primary care physician regularly and maintaining good hygiene. However, nutrition and exercise are important components of physical health. Adequate rest can help our bodies fight off illness and better cope with distress.  Are you getting enough sleep or are you relying on Red Bull and 5-Hour Energy to get you through the day? 

5. Sexual Health - Although the topic of sex may make some of us blush and cause some embarrassment, it is a very influential aspect of health. Accepting one's sexual orientation and being communicative and honest with one's partner is all part of being sexually healthy. 

6. Occupational Health - In our daily lives, we take on a variety of roles. Some volunteer, while others must take on an occupation or career to meet financial obligations. So, how do those roles align with your personal value system? 

7. Social Health - This type of wellness is not about being a social butterfly or the life of the party. It's more about having a support network in which you can rely upon to share life experiences and lean on when times are tough. It's not about co-dependencies, but interdependence where you can rely on others and they can rely on you when the moment calls for it.

8. Spiritual Health - Spirituality can take on different meanings to us all. Being spiritually healthy means we can see our place in the world. We seek meaning and purpose, whether that means believing in a higher power, attending church or meditating. It's whatever feeds an understanding of where we are and why.

Information gathered from the University of Illinois, Chicago Wellness Center