Do You Have Common Cents?

I'm a self-professed shopaholic. They say it's an illness and I guess I'm in rehab for it. I've come a long way, but I can remember when it all started.

You see, my mother was a shopaholic. She use to go shopping and would buy a shirt in every color available. She collected shoes and looked up to Amelda Marcos. She'd actually reference her with every pair she bought and then she'd come home to place them with reverence in her closet as an homage to her. Her closet was her shrine where every article of clothing, every accessory, made her feel a bit better about her lost childhood.

My brother and I grew up watching that behavior. We would help sneak packages into the house and keep a watchful eye out for when my dad rounded the corner on his way home from work so we could remind her to collect the mail. Surely, her credit card statement would be there. Dad was frugal and a big saver, so credit cards were the Antichrist to him.

It took years for me to understand why she shopped so compulsively. It wasn't until after her death that I truly grasped the whys of her spending habits. As we cleaned out her apartment, my dad and I accepted the fact that every tangible object in the place had a special emotional meaning to her and helped heal some of her pain. She went without as a kid and now had the opportunity to soothe herself with shopping sprees. 

In my marriage I agreed to buy things we couldn't afford. Debt was justifiable because we would pay it all off with the next work bonus. Of course we would. Keeping up with the Joneses was okay because it's something we all do. We compare our lives, our cars, our homes, etc. to those of our friends'. Right? We all do it. A man picks up a woman for a date and he has at least wondered if his car is good enough to impress. The woman judges the man based on his whip and she has no idea that the car note has left him living check to check. 

So now I'm in my 30's and old enough to know better. Let me tell you that it's taken years to change my mindset and stop buying things just to buy them. I kid you not, the self-gratification I felt during a shopping spree was exhilarating. My heart would race and I would be on a mission until whatever item I was hunting for was found and purchased. I relied on payday advances to get me by and I always wondered where my money went. It went in my closet, that's where. 

Tax-free weekend inspired this blog post. I felt going shopping would be justified because it is, after all, tax-free. I finally had to tell myself to slow down. Self-talk is powerful. I'm living proof. I did the math and realized that the few items I would buy will only amount to a tax of maybe $5. After checking my bank account and realizing I'd either have to put myself into debt or borrow from my savings, I told myself it was a no-go. If I was to use a credit card the amount I saved on tax would be paid twice just in interest.

Want my advice on how to manage your self-talk when it comes to spending habits?

1) Create a budget - I was once living check to check so my budget was a bi-weekly one. I used MS Excel to create mine.

2) Prioritize - Be sure the roof over your head is paid first and be sure to buy food! I use to deprive myself of food in order to pay certain bills, but you can always negotiate w/creditors. Be sure to stock your fridge or set money aside if you shop for fresh food daily. 

3) Ask yourself certain questions before buying something that is not budgeted for. I often ask myself: Do I need it? Do I have room for it? Can it wait?

4) When the impulse is strong enough to where you find yourself in the store w/your heart racing, ask customer service to hold the item for you. Many stores will hold for 24 hours or at least until closing time. That will give you time to reconsider. Be sure to leave the store, however. Often the euphoria of being in the store will keep you convinced you need the item. 

5) After you have purchased, keep the tags on and receipts in a memorable place so you can go back and change your mind later. 

6) Track your spending. There are software programs that can help you or a simple MS Excel spreadsheet where you can track what you are spending money on and how often. 

7) Keep all receipts. 

8) Flexible spending account - Ask your employer HR department about a medical expense account or daycare account, where you can be reimbursed for medical co-pays and/or medication as well as daycare expenses. This will put some extra money in your hands throughout the year. Beware, though, that those funds will come out of your check each month so in a way, you end up breaking even. 

9) Christmas Club account - Most banks have a Christmas club option where you can set money aside throughout the year. There is usually a penalty for early withdrawal. This account works well for when the holidays creep up on you and you realize you have to decide between holiday gifts and paying the electric bill. Yikes!

10) Cut back where you can. This includes the use of coupons as well as eliminating the DVR (I know right!), cable and the gym membership you said you would use, but haven't used in months. Be honest with yourself and cut out those little things that add up each month. 

Now you see where I'm going with this? It's hard, but we are ultimately responsible for our own impulses. Self-awareness is key and self-talk is crucial in getting us to change our bad habits. We are all born with common sense. At some point we lose it to behaviors we grew up observing. Using common sense can help us save some cents and my bank account is smiling right now.

Don't like doing things alone?

"I don't understand how a person can go out to eat alone. That's so depressing!" 

Did you know that a large part of our society thinks it's strange to do certain things alone? Here is a recent article I encountered that addresses weird things to do alone.

11 Things That Are Weird to Do Alone

I got a chuckle out of this since 6 out of 11 of these things I have done by myself. I've always considered myself to be weird, so I guess there's no surprise there. Ha! So is this the part where I tell you what I have done alone? Let's see...the most common ones for me are eating at a restaurant and going to the movies alone. I once attended a concert by myself, as well as went to an amusement park alone. 

So, if it's okay for some, why not others? As I was doing research for this blog post, I found an article about why people don't like to do things alone. Here is one:

Study Proves People Don't Like Doing Things Alone

Perhaps you are asking yourself why some people can do it, while it's very hard for others. Is it different for introverts than extroverts? Is it gender specific? 

I think as we get older, we become more comfortable in our own company so age could be a determining factor. What about culture? Are some cultures more accepting of solitude? Is it selfish to want to spend time alone? 

This brings me to a new question: Does solitude equal loneliness? 

You might be surprised to learn that there are benefits to spending time alone.

The Surprising Benefits of Solitude

If I Did It, You Can Too!

Lately, I am asked why I changed my eating habits. The truth is, I was raised in a home where we ate whatever mom cooked and grew up thinking we could continue eating the same things with no repercussions. The fact of the matter is that the food we ate 20+ years ago, is not the same food we see in the supermarket now. I won't bore you with USDA and FDA regulations. I'll say this: We are not eating food, we are eating food-like products. 

We live in a society where most people buy what they see advertised on television and if it claims to be fat-free or low fat, it must be healthy. I took matters into my own hands and empowered myself by doing my own research. I'm a visual learner, so I watched documentaries about food and health, then started incorporating similar strategies into my own lifestyle. I don't label myself as anything but a flexitarian. I am flexible based on the circumstances and on my mood. Balance is key. I can't promise to never eat another slice of beef or a candy bar. No, because I'm human and at the end of the day, depriving myself completely of something could mean I end up falling off the wagon and skin both knees. Let me slam on the breaks for just a sec to put a disclaimer out there. This is NOT A DIET. I repeat, this is NOT A DIET. I don't believe in diets. I think diets are made to be broken and plenty of doctors and dieticians have designed diets to make millions of dollars off of people who are desperate to lose weight. My goal is health not six pack abs. 

When it comes to avoiding certain foods and adding others, alkalinity is something to consider. I had never heard of this but as I started reading and watching documentaries about how foods affect our health, I saw a common thread: acidic foods are bad for the cells in our bodies. Foods that are alkaline are great for our cells. 

Here are some foods I avoid and some healthy alternatives I have added to my daily eating regimen:

Refined sugar 

The book, "Skinny B*tch" changed my life. There's a chapter called "Sugar is the Devil" and that it is, my friend. See, the thing about refined sugar that many do not know is that it is truly addictive. It is added to a lot of foods, like cereal and candy, to get us to crave it. That way we end up going back for more when we are hungry instead of eating the healthy stuff. Makes sense, right? So, what if you want to sweeten a smoothie, what should you use instead? My go to  is (drum roll please) HONEY. Yes, honey. When I shop I look for PURE HONEY which is the closest to the natural form you can find. I use honey in tea as well and love it. Some people use cane juice, Stevia or xylitol. I prefer honey. Find what works best for you. Please, by all means necessary, stay away from sugar substitutes. These low-calorie alternatives to sugar continue to con people into thinking they are healthier, but the end result could be worse than consuming good old fashioned sugar. Aspartame and other varieties are no good. Even gum contains aspartame, so be cautious and read the ingredient label. One brand I highly recommend is SPRY. They make gum and mints. Breath control!

White rice 

This is a hard one for me because it's one of my daughter's favorites. She won't eat yellow or brown rice, so I find myself making white rice often. The key is to find brands that are less damaging than the traditional white rices offered at our local grocery stores. This is a good article I found online: What's wrong with white rice? Instead of the typical brands of white rice, I look for organic brands or key words like JASMINE RICE or BASMATI RICE for my daughter. For me, I try to stick to brown rice or QUINOA. Does that mean I never eat white rice? Again, no. It just means I try to avoid it as much as possible. I tend to eat it when I make black beans.

White flour

Flour is found in just about all the yummy stuff especially in baked goods. I was raised eating guava and cheese pastries (pasteles), cakes, etc. so it's very hard for me to see something like that and not be tempted. I'm now to the point where when I see food I see ingredients. If I see a pastry I think of refined sugar and white flour. I love to bake, though, so I have started to find "healthier" (ahem) alternatives so I can still treat myself! (wink wink). I try to shop at natural foods stores making it less likely I'll buy processed junk. I look for organic cake mixes and icing packs. If you like to bake goods from scratch, look for almond flour or coconut flour. Those are good alternatives. If you juice, you can take the leftover pulp (fiber) and add it to the mixture. We'll get to juicing later. If you like to buy goods that are ready-made, look for brands like Sun Flour Baking Co., The Alternative Baking Co., Back to Nature, Country Choice, Uncle Eddie's, Tropical Source and Terra Nostra. I look for key terms like "gluten-free," "organic," "cacao" instead of chocolate or cocoa. Cacao is the purest form of chocolate there is, so that's always better than the others.

For those of us who love bread and can't give it up, what kind of bread should we buy? I try to buy Ezekiel bread whenever possible. I also know people who swear by Paleo bread.

Salt

We don't need to add salt to our food. We are indoctrinated to do so. We sit at a restaurant and there are salt and pepper shakers available so we use them. I try not to add salt to my food. If you must have salt then how about trying sea salt?

Coffee

This one is a hard one for most of us who wake up tired and feel we need a pick-me-up. Well, I'm here to tell you that I used to believe I couldn't function without coffee, but after years of drinking Cuban espresso (or cortadito as we call it), my stomach jumped up and slapped me in the face. I started to have sharp pains in my belly in college when all-nighters were part of my weekly routine. I didn't need a doctor to tell me it was the coffee I was drinking, so I stopped. After I graduated, I started working full-time and once again, turned to my morning "café con leche." I had to retrain my brain to accept that we do not need to drink coffee to function. How do I stay awake? Well, for starters, when you change your diet and stop consuming junk, your body thanks you by becoming more PRESENT and alert. I wake up more ready to tackle my day than ever before. Yes, there are mornings I drag and when I do I use MACA POWDER. Maca is a root that grows in Peru. It aids in hormonal balance as well as is a great source of Vitamin B-12. It also has calcium and magnesium. 

Another alternative is organic green tea. Read more: Seven things to know about green tea. I add honey to mine to sweeten it. 

Meat

Saying I avoid meat is sometimes the equivalent of offending someone's momma. I don't get it but if other people want to be offended about my personal choice, that's up to them. Does this mean I'm a tree-hugger who thinks animals are more important than human beings? Definitely not. I used to believe people who did not eat meat chose not to because they felt bad for defenseless animals who were being slaughtered. Meanwhile, I loved my pernil (roast pork) and didn't really care that there was a full swine on a hot box at Noche Buena (Christmas Eve). That's how my family rolled and we slaughtered a pig each year in the name of Baby Jesus. Fast forward to where I am in my life and (if you do your research) you will see for yourself that animals that are slaughtered for their meat go through rounds of antibiotics, hormones and unsanitary living conditions. That is the same meat you cook at high temperatures and then put into your body. And we wonder why we wake up mad at the world? Most of our society is consuming decomposing carcass without batting an eyelash. The meat of today is not the same meat you ate as a child. Do your research on factory farmed meat. If you still choose to eat meat, then good for you. At least you know what you are eating. 

How do I get my protein? People think if a person does not eat a dead animal, they get no protein. That's not true. Plants have protein also. Try nuts, seeds (pumpkin seeds are high in protein), avocados, spirulina (algae) and quinoa, to name a few. If you love buffalo wings, try a brand called Health is Wealth for a meatless alternative. There is also tofu and tempeh (great source of protein). If you try and realize you must eat meat, then good for you. How about quality sources of animal protein like organic, free-range, or wild sources? Anything that is farmed tends not to be good for you because of the antibiotics, hormones and unsanitary conditions already mentioned.

Dairy

This one really offends people because they want to know where I get my calcium from. It makes me laugh and further enforces my belief that many people follow trends blindly. The medical societies created a commercial where celebrities have a milk mustache and proclaim that milk is needed in order to live. Okay! 

So why is it that we are the only species that continues to drink milk well into adulthood? Have you seen a grown cow drink from its mother? On the subject of cows, did you know that most dairy cows are milked even while pregnant? That's a no-no, yet dairy farmers are forced to do so for profit. The amount of hormones in today's cow's milk is alarming, yet people continue to blindly drink it in the name of calcium. Here are healthy alternatives that have calcium: almonds, Brazil nuts, seeds, soybeans, kale, collard greens, broccoli, kelp and molasses, mustard greens, cabbage, seaweed, watercress, chickpeas, red beans, tofu and sesame seeds. 

Because my daughter is allergic to dairy products, she now drinks almond milk. She's picky but has yet to detect a difference in the taste between almond and cow's milk. I use almond milk for smoothies and there are different varieties like coconut and vanilla. Yum!

Fluoride

This one tends to be just as controversial as the meat and dairy ones. All I can say is, it works for me and I like to challenge the status quo. I've read about what fluoride does to the pineal gland and I choose to stay away. Am I rotting my teeth as a result? Well, let's see. I avoid animal-products so I guess if fruits and vegetables are rotting my teeth, then perhaps. 

One way to avoid fluoride is to buy distilled water. Sometimes I alternate between spring water and distilled water. If you're going to buy distilled you may as well look for ionized water that has a neutral to high pH. 

Here's more on fluoride: ADA study confirms dangers of fluoridated water, especially for babies

There are water distillers on the market. This is the one I use.

So those are my AVOIDS, what about my GO-TO Foods? I buy organic as much as my budget will allow. I refer to the dirty dozen list when I shop.

Also, in order to consume as many fruits and vegetables as possible, I try to juice. On a good week, I would juice one meal per day. There are many brands of juicers out there. You can use your blender if you have a good quality one that will liquify produce. If you want to eliminate the pulp (fiber), an extractor type of juicer is best. This is the one I have.

Some people prefer to include the fiber, which is fine, but the body has to do more work to digest it, so it just depends on your preference. My juicer has a compost bin where all of the pulp/fiber/peel goes and that can be reused either for composting or to add to baked goods, soups, etc. Sometimes I'll transfer the juice into my blender and add spirulina (great source of protein) and coconut water or aloe juice. There are many juice recipes online especially green ones for energy and detoxing. My go-to veggies are: celery, cucumbers, carrots, spinach, kale and broccoli. My go-to fruits are: green apples, kiwis and grapes. I'm not very adventurous. When I find what works for me, I stick to it. 

One thing to keep in mind about juicing, because your body will get super hydrated and will try to rid itself of toxins quickly, you will urinate frequently, so be prepared. I don't recommend juicing late at night or right before a run. ;) 

Although my juicer does the job, it has malfunctioned on me a few times. I would recommend getting the Breville. It's the same juicer as the one in the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.

If you can afford a Vitamix, this restaurant grade blender can probably liquify a 2 by 4.

Here's an example of a dinner/dessert combo on a busy weeknight.

Left: carrots, celery, cucumber, green apples Right: Honeydew

If you are looking for a way to detoxify your body a JUICE FEAST is a great way. Be sure to stock up on organic fruits and veggies and turn off your television. You don't want to see food commercials while you are in the middle of this process. Trust me. Having an accountability partner to do this with you is great! Don't trust yourself to go at it alone and not cheat. It's hard!

Video: How I juice.

I also want to share two things I use in my kitchen which may help you as well. 

Oil

I added organic extra virgin coconut oil to my regimen. There are great benefits to coconut oil. I still use extra virgin olive oil, but only in raw form. I don't recommend it as a cooking oil. Google it to find out what happens to it as it heats. There are many brands of coconut oil. This is also great for deep conditioning hair as a pre-poo. 

This is the one I use:

Food Steamer

A friend gave me a food steamer and I use it to steam just about every vegetable. My go-to vegetable is sweet potato. It's cheap and easy to prepare. I slice it and pair it w/fish or sometimes I mash it. You can even take these to work and bake them in a toaster oven for a healthy lunch. 

A Word on Water
Our bodies are 70% water, yet the majority of society is dehydrated.  Isn't that just pitiful? Instead of drinking water, we turn to things like soda (pop), juices and performance drinks. The majority of these have a high sugar content, most have high fructose corn syrup and some even contain small doses of brominated vegetable oil (BVO), which is an ingredient in flame retardant. If we were to read ingredient labels, I assure you, we'd drink more water. So how much water should we drink? There are a variety of formulas, but I stick to half of my body weight and try to drink that in ounces every day. So far, it is working for me. My energy level and alertness have increased, so I can't complain. Also, if your urine is yellow, it means you need to drink more water (or you're on a medication that has tainted your pee). Also, foods like celery, cucumbers, parsley and other leafy vegetables will hydrate our bodies, requiring us to drink less water. Just remember, if you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated. DRINK!

Economy, Culture and Solutions

Our Economy is based on something called linear production/consumption.
The basis of this model is to convert natural resources into products to sell then to consume and then to throw away to further produce, consume, and trash more continuously. It was invented 100 years ago by the owners of industry (such as JP Morgan, JD Rockefeller, and Henry Ford) to maximize their profits. They pushed to create a very handy propaganda tool, what today we call the media, to influence the public to buy their stuff. It was a major challenge for them being that during this time the average person was happy to just grow their own food and spend most of their personal time among loved ones and nature.

But they eventually succeeded in shifting the culture towards desiring to acquire material things as a way to feel better about themselves. To just be oneself become an awful thing requiring a fix that can only be purchased perpetually. The naive public bought it and ever since then every new generation has been exposed to this as the "normal life". The commercialization of our minds starts from an early age when we watch children programs with colorful TV ads that stimulate us to crave certain toys and junk foods. It then proceeds through school when popularity is based on the name brand of the clothes or electronic gadgets. Eventually through adulthood where owning a certain car and a certain home gives you a sense of social achievement.

This model worked pretty well initially but it definitely doesn't now.
The population size then was much smaller, there were abundant resources, lots of clean air, plenty of open land to build on and for dumping trash. Today we are over crowded, over polluted, and low on land/resources. Plus, after decades of doing it this way, it has not only failed to satisfy us deeply, but also it's left us in major debt (while making the rich richer), and we have grown increasingly sicker both mentally and physically.

Our struggling economic state is an inevitable consequence of what is a very unnatural practice developed a long time ago by greedy men. The solution is to create one that is not based on buying stuff but on creating quality experiences. One that is community focused and not the benefit of some distant corporate headquarters.

It is about time for a new model.
One that is not handed down to us by politicians nor the extremely wealthy bankers and owners of industry. One that is intelligent, in harmony with our true nature, and created for the health of all individuals.


Here are 10 thoughtful tips on how to improve your life to protect your money,  your health, your relationships and helping your local economy:

1) Stop spending on things that make you look better to others and on those things that make you feel healthier. Forget the fashion labels and love your natural look as God made you (and not the magazines). Many people believe that the things they like have nothing to do with what others think when it is the complete opposite.
2) Save and pay off your debt. Would you be happier with 1/4th the stuff you have now with $20,000 - $60,000 saved in the bank or put into investments?

3) Grow your own organic food. No brainier here.

4) Start your own small business (locally or online). Find out how you can market something that you are passionate about to others who have the same interest.

5) Avoid getting into a mortgage. If you are in one then find a way out or increase your monthly payment to minimize your interest hits. Did you know that for a $300,000 home with 5.5% interest on a 30 yr loan you will end up paying $613,000 if you just pay the minimum monthly. Imagine putting that additional $316,000 in your bank account!!!

6) Avoid financing a new car for the same reasons above. Its value drops immediately after you drive it off the lot (25%-40% in the first 2 years). You also take a big hit with the interest. For a $20,000 car loan with 7% interest on a 60 month payment plan you will end up paying around $4,000-$5,000 extra if you only pay the minimum monthly amount. This doesn't include the dealer fees, taxes, and subsequent insurance you are dealt with. Buy a used model that is fuel efficient and mechanically sound, save your well earned cash.

7) Before you trash it, sell it, barter it or share it... with not just family and friends but with your community. Sell/trade it on ebay.com, craigslist.org and freecycle.org. You can also go to these to get bargains on the things you want.

8) Don't buy bottled water, purchase a distiller. Saves you lots of money over the year and you save the environment from throwing away tons of plastic bottles.

9) Do-it-yourself (DIY). Instead of buying products filled with lots of poisonous chemicals. Make your own salad dressing, detergents, air fresheners, shampoos and lotions.

10)  Buy locally for many many reasons. For example, if you love meat then invest in a local animal butcher to get it fresh and keep your money in the community. The flesh you get from restaurants and most supermarkets comes from far away therefore burning lots of fuel in transporting it to your area. It is usually weeks old by the time you buy it so it is pumped with harmful preservatives. And of course the poor animals, when they were alive, were fed hormones, GMO crops, and antibiotics to keep them from dying too soon.

How to Change Your Life (For the Better)

Does this sound familiar? 

You open one eye mad at the alarm and hit snooze. You oversleep and wake up mad and tired at the world. Since you're now running late for enslavement, I mean, work, you stop at Starbucks on the way in and grab a venti caramel macchiato and a marble loaf. 

During lunch you swing by a drive-thru and grab something from the value menu and you run back to the office and devour it at your desk. About an hour later you feel sluggish and need a pick-me-up. Off to the vending machine you go for a candy bar. After all, sugar is a stimulant right? You need some more coffee to accompany the sugar, so you make some coffee at the office and sip that the rest of the afternoon.

For dinner, you have a famished family that needs to be fed so you open the pantry and pull out a box of mashed potatoes that claims to be made with real potatoes and you make a quick and easy meal. The table is served with a grocery store bought baked chicken and some gravy from a glass jar. Sounds like a hearty meal, right? 

The next morning you wake up feeling even more tired. You have huge bags under your eyes, you don't have the energy to brush your teeth much less function at the office. You keep hearing about people who have time to exercise, eat right and live a well-balanced life. So where does a person who works a full-time job, has children, and somewhat of a social life find time to do all of that? 

Well, I'm here to share some information with you about how to start. For starters, I'm not a psychologist, nutritionist or medical doctor. I'm just an average person who has highs and lows just like anyone else. I'm a work in progress. I'm also a full-time professional and a single parent. It has taken me years to realize that a) we are what we eat and b) trying to stay healthy in my 30s is a heck of a lot harder than it was in my 20s.

My college years consisted of eating things I thought were healthy, working on a college degree and still having enough time and energy to exercise 6 days a week and party hardy and let me tell you, I scrubbed the ground back in my hay day. I was always on the go, full of zest and life, but eating all the wrong things. Fast forward to my mid-thirties, a divorce and c-section later and here I am.

I'd be fooling you if I told you that exercising and eating right are the only things that need to be done to be healthy. We must be self-aware first and then set goals not only for our physical health but also for our spiritual, mental, social and other areas of wellness. That is why I started Mojo Dojo. It's not just about me, but about the big picture. Our society is slowly dying because of how we are living. Stress and food are killing us. I'm a firm believer that complaining gets us nowhere. We have to do something and take action steps toward change or we will remain in the same spot we are in with zero progress.

These are my Tips for Getting Started Right Now:

Change your mindset - Henry Ford is quoted as saying, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't--you are right." Our thoughts can turn in to our reality. Period.

Observe your own behaviors - Before I could change my life, I had to pay close attention to what I was doing. This included everything from what I ate to what I allowed myself to think about myself and how I viewed the world. My advice is to keep a journal and write all of your actions down. Every activity and nuance should be documented. This is key to becoming more aware of your own behaviors. Self-reflection is an on-going process so we should all do this periodically.

Set some goals - After I reviewed what I was doing, I then set some goals. I made my goals realistic. Stay away from words like never and always. I know my Self and I love me some chocolate so to say I would never eat a piece of chocolate again, was setting me up for failure. I also had to be practical based on work/life commitments. I can't vow to exercise 3 hours a day because I work full-time and have a child that has real homework and a set bed time. I also had to prioritize the goals and started with one or two, "This week I will ______." When it comes to food, there will be a future blog with specifics on why my nutritional goals are what they are, but this is something that is very personal and customized. 

My physical goals are to

Increase flexibility

Get more rest at night

Be more active during the day

My nutritional goals are to

Avoid white sugar, rice, flour, sodium, wheat, coffe, meat and dairy

Eat primarily fruits and vegetables

Buy organic whenever possible

Drink more water (minus the fluoride)

My Spiritual Goals are to

Meditate/pray more

Listen to my Self

Be more self-aware

Reflect more on my actions

My Environmental Goals are to

Recycle regularly

Reuse plastic and glass containers

Donate/sell things I don't use

Learn more about renewable energy

Conserve power & water

Plant a food garden

Make my own all natural haircare/skincare products

My Social Goals are to

Listen more

Talk less

Give more

Expect less

Love more

Dislike less

Understand more

Judge less

My Occupational Goals are to

Pursue what I am passionate about

Think less about money

Think more about fulfillment

Eventually work for myself

Provide a cushion of sustainability

Create a fulfilling environment that brings in sufficient income with less enslavement

Be a transformational leader

Some of you may have specific questions or need a sounding board. Feel free to e-mail us directly or visit our Facebook page for more detailed information.

Inform yourself - We've all heard that most of what we learn in life is learned outside of the classroom. Lifestyle changes are no different. Find something that you are passionate about and make it a goal to learn something new about it. Reading is fundamental so put your brain to work and tap into your resources. There is a vast amount of information on the web these days and you can google just about anything. We are all researchers. If you have a Netflix account, view some documentaries about topics of interest. If you do not have Netflix, visit Films for Action. I started by watching documentaries a dear friend recommended. The documentaries were about food so that is where I started. A list will be provided in a future blog. 

Detox when you need to - By detoxing I don't just mean your body. I mean your mind and spirit too. In order to be a healthy person it's not just about food and exercise. It's about your thoughts and what things you do to make your Self feel fulfilled. You must have a purpose and take action steps to fulfill that purpose. One thing I started doing was turning off my phone when I spend time with my daughter. It's bad enough we spend 40+ hours per week in enslavement, I mean, work. Now we are also slaves to technology. Learn to turn off the television, the phone, the computer, etc. and spend quality time with those you love. If you find yourself in solitude, enjoy that time to get to know your Self better. Silence can be very revealing. For food detoxing a juice fast is awesome. I like it because my body received the nutrients it needed and I was not hungry. The hard part is getting used to not chewing on something. Starting off with a 1 day juice fast or weekend juice fast is realistic but pick the right weekend. Don't do it when your friend has an outdoor BBQ planned. Juicing tips will be provided in a future blog. 

Commit to your Self - To piggyback on the above, you can learn to say "no." Say you are already committed and spend alone time to do something you enjoy whether it's a hobby, going for a bike ride, researching lifestyle changes, or what have you.

Get rid of the stuff that is weighing you down - Some people call this spring cleaning, others call it purging or donating. Look around your home and make it a goal to de-clutter one room at a time. Make piles as you sort through your stuff. This tip can also be about people and relationships. If you are in an unhealthy relationship be it with a significant other or friend/family member, it may be time to move on. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Negativity will weigh you down just as much as a heavy tumor will. 

I invite you to think about these things in relation to your life and habits. This blog is more about sharing and exchanging information. Please visit us on Facebook or Pinterest for more information. We hope this has been of value to you. We would love to receive feedback and questions from you. You can either comment on e-mail us privately.

Living and Loving Without Ego

There is Cherokee legend about an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." 

He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."



This great story could not outline better the differences between those two sides in each of us. If we investigate deeply into the origin of our ego, we will discover that it is not something we are born with nor is it something we consciously began to create. Rather it is what develops automatically in us from living in this crazy world. Since the time of our birth, it becomes this collection of all our social conditioning and the defensive walls we erect in reaction to life's painful experiences (which includes the negative messages we have received from others). It is fed predominantly in an environment of scarcity ( where we don't get enough of our physical and emotional needs met).

Think back to a period of time in your childhood when you were consistently teased, hated on, bullied or unfairly punished. How did you respond to it? Did you become less trusting, more insecure, and apathetic?  Did you consciously choose to react this way or was it spontaneous? With each occurrence did you build up your guard more, making it a deeper part of your personality? If you answered "Yes" to all of these then is it fair to say that, as time has passed, this set of unhappy reactions is now one big habitual creature? This is just a small example of how it grows unsuspectedly in a person's mind and heart. 

The reality today is that we have very little choice (or much of a will) in the moment when we are not even aware of this ego, of how it formed in us, how it is running our lives when we are on autopilot, and how destructive it really is.

So what is it like to exist without this ego?

It is quite simple... this is when we are operating much closer to our true human potential. We feel free to play, to explore, to truly learn, to contribute and to treat things around us with the respect and appreciation they deserve. We are free to realize that we are interconnected and that we all have come to this existence from the same divine all-powerful source.

Let's reflect for a moment on how it is to (try to) love another person with our ego. We often start by enjoying that person. After the honeymoon period, inevitably, things lead to conflict, fear, insecurity, jealousy, lots of limitations, desperation, loneliness, boredom, pressure and/or selfishness. This is unfortunately how most of us experience love and relate with each other. 

Flipping things around, what is it like to love another person in the absence of this ego? It would be an experience of consistent harmony, trust, abundance, freedom, fluidity, appreciation, understanding, warmth, playfulness, and cooperation. Promises and sweet talk are not a requisite here because, when we think about it, only the ego needs reassurance. Our higher self is much more grounded, connected, and fulfilled with life in general. From this level of awareness, groundedness, and freedom, we are able to supply each other with continuous intelligent and nurturing acts of love. 

We must become acquainted with our ego in order to no longer feed it and, by doing so, set ourselves free.

The Power of "No"

Ever felt overwhelmed by your To Do List?  Then a friend texts you asking for a favor and you wonder where you will find the time to help them out.  One of the things I have always struggled with is knowing when to say no.  Sometimes there can be a thin line between helping someone out and inconveniencing your Self. 

A few years ago, I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show and heard something that struck a chord in me. Oprah's guest was talking about the power of no. She went on to say that we should view our To Do List in terms of commitments. If something comes up that we know we do not have the time or energy for, we can always say I'm already committed. That can mean I'm already committed to my work, I'm already committed to my family, or I'm already committed to my Self. You may have noticed on previous blog posts that I separate my from Self and capitalize Self. In doing so I am referring to the spiritual person that resides in each of us. 

Making time for our Selves is just as important as making time for others. It's wonderful to be altruistic and share our time with others, but at some point we all need time for our Selves. Solitude is just as important as having a sense of community. Whether we make time to meditate, exercise, or read a book spending time alone is often needed in order to drown out all of the noise around us and return to center. 

If you need some suggestions on  how to decide whether to say yes or no, this article is a great reference:

Questions to Ask Before Saying Yes

Do You Know Your Own Boundaries?

Have you ever either found a family member, a friend, or yourself in an unhealthy relationship and wondered how someone gets into such a mess? It is apparent that in us exists something which blinds us to the abuse. Too often the signs are clear to those around but not to the victim.

A major obstacle we face in detecting when a relationship is unhealthy is not having a clear idea of what is not an acceptable treatment from another person and what is. This involves more than just romantic relationship as it could extend to family, friends and work as well. I can't help but to roll my eyes when I hear someone say about their mate "he gets really nasty when he gets jealous but it cool 'cause it shows how much he really loves me." This is in part due to the fact that our overall culture is quite authoritarian and so we grow up allowing other to force us to do things we don't care really for or we will face nasty consequences.

For any meaningful relationship to be enjoyed, and to last, we must first unlearn the letting of others dominate us because our inner compass will eventually reject anything causing us too much damage. Those who trespass against us may not be even aware of their infractions because unfortunately they are victims of the abuse themselves and are in need of obvious help. Although we may empathize with them, for our own sanity and their personal betterment, we must create a healthy distance from them.

So exactly how do you know when someone is overstepping your personal boundaries? Here is a list of things to look out for which I have divided into two categories (aggressive and passive):

You are being abused aggressively when they...
-Use absolute words such "You Always" and "You Never". It's better to say "Usually" and "Seldom".
-Use blame speech, often starting sentences with "You are" instead of "I feel that you are".
-Often raise their voices which is to drown your's while also revealing the violence that lives inside them.
-Resort to heavy shaming, condemning, and name-calling. Express your feelings without putting others down.
-Often monopolize the conversation. This is a poor learned behavior where a person was rarely heard as a child.
-Often being pushy, impatient, and make demands at inappropriate times (like when you are busy).
-Are constantly bringing up the past regarding your mistakes. We must learn and move along.
-Are repeatedly giving unsolicited advice or are trying to fix you not accepting where others are in life.
-Often resort to shotgun blasting (unfocused complaints) unwilling to work on one issue at a time.
-Are constantly measuring you to others and letting you know about it.
-Steal and misuse your personal property.
-Resort to physical confrontation. Physical harm is not an option.
-Become violent during fits of jealousy. Scary!
-Are sexual abusive. Sex must be mutually enjoyed (period).

You are being abused passively when they...
-Are often sarcastic. This is a way of letting out their frustration, masking it with humor.
-Share your information with others or by repeatedly breaking promises.
-Enjoy mocking and laughing at others including you.
-Are compulsive liars. No brain-er about how unpleasant this is.
-Don't express feelings easily making it difficult to cooperate with.
-Ignore you by neglecting your expressed needs.
-Are passive aggressive by telling you that everything is OK yet their actions say otherwise.
-Are passive manipulative by often pouting, whining, or giving you the silent treatment.
-Are quick to abandon a conversation. Perhaps one of the most aggravating forms of emotional immaturity.
-Resort to blackmailing by asking you to do things you are uncomfortable with "or else".
-Offer too little or too much emotional support. They either are too absent or too suffocating.
-Are constantly teasing and/or withholding from you. It is a form of letting out their frustration on you.

We must be aware that no amount of caring or love for someone who is abusing you will prevent you from the harm their actions will inflict. This may be especially tough when it comes to a family member or a husband/wife whom we feel a duty to be there for. Experience has this to tell us... that any support you can provide such individuals can only be given when they have admitted to their problem and are already making an effort to heal themselves otherwise they will suck you into their negativity and you will come out battered physically and emotionally. Our personal health and happiness are priceless and must be protected at all costs which even includes facing our own loneliness.

Is Your Single Status on V-Day Making You Feel Like a Loser?

It is not surprising that Valentine’s Day brings in millions of dollars each year in the sale of heart-shaped chocolate boxes, cards and jewelry. Some couples even gift each other with electronics—the latest cell phone or iPad.

Growing up, my parents always boycotted Valentine’s Day. I never understood why, until now. They said things like, “Give me my flowers while I’m alive. Don’t wait until I’m gone to tell me you love me or treat me with respect.”

So now I’ll ask you to play along with me for a second. Ready? Take off your veil of commercialism and open your mind to receive a message you may not like. Do you love your Self, (it’s capitalized for a reason)--your true Self, who you really are?  Yes? Good. Do you need to receive a gift or to be taken out to dinner on Valentine’s Day to feel loved? If you love your Self enough, isn’t that enough for you to feel fulfilled and eliminate the expectation or pressure from an outside source to provide you with anything to feel validated?

So what, you are single! Does a holiday that professes to be about LOVE make you feel like a loser? Again, the love of Self should be enough to make you feel like a winner. No? Okay. I’m not here to convince you. I’m not here to tell you to stop celebrating love. 

Love is an awesome verb. It means different things to different people. To me it means actions that show all of the people in your life that you care. You care enough to BE THERE for them, to LISTEN to their concerns, their fears, their stressors.  If you see each other struggling and cannot help, at the very least you will try to UNDERSTAND and be COMPASSIONATE and EMPATHETIC without JUDGING or CONDEMNING their feelings. Love does not mean you will agree with every path they choose to take; however, to me, it means you will COMMUNICATE to them that you will strive to TRY to understand and if there’s anything they feel you can help with, that they will not hesitate to ASK.

That said, LOVE everyone. Love your family, love your pets, love the planet, love a power higher than you, love your ability to love and most of all, LOVE your Self.

Never let a holiday make you feel like a loser. Only you can do that.

The Seven Elements of a Beneficial Relationship

What is the ultimate goal of a romantic relationship? Is it not to have it be long lasting, fulfilling and well balanced (between pleasure and healthy challenges)?                                                                                                    

Most of us, who have been trapped in this cycle of hook ups and break ups, are too aware of what does not work yet we have not managed to break out of it. Things like selfishness, clinginess, laziness, jealousy, dishonesty, and being too judgmental drive us apart quicker than it takes for nail polish to dry.

But, what generally escapes us is what will make us truly stick together. This post discusses 7 essential elements of what will make a commitment between 2 people not just stand the test of time but also transform them as individuals in a significant way. For those of us who strive for more in a relationship and personally, these principles can prove to be very valuable and they can be easily remembered with the acronym ASPIRES.

Acceptance

In a very nurturing way, both shall accept each others limitations. Plenty of room is allowed for having flaws and to make mistakes. These things are seen as opportunity for growth, improvement and practice. This is what makes life an interesting challenge. And, in the end, if it is unavoidable and necessary both shall gracefully thank each other and disengage.

Self-Esteem

Without exception, both understand the importance of developing and having a healthy self-esteem. This is crucial to having success in any one's life, let alone a relationship. If one suffers from chronic low confidence, the other will be unnecessarily burdened by those issues. One must have enough personal self-worth built in when entering a relationship or it will place too much of a strain.

Prosperity

Bringing out the best qualities in one's lover is another essential goal. It is about assisting one another in evolving into the most successful and happy person s/he can be. Both must have an openness and desire to move towards positive change. Coming together must be about further growth as individuals. Together both can accomplish goals much more easily than alone therefore enjoying continuous success while strengthening their bond.

Intimacy

With each others constant cooperation, a true intimacy is experienced physically, intellectually, emotionally, and even spiritually. Each one feels the freedom to express her/himself openly and to ask honestly for what they want without regrets. There is no shaming or fear of being rejected. Disagreements are minimized because all things are addressed with a good mix of patience and understanding. Each one is allowed time to process and analyze before giving her/his response. Because of this, both expose their sensitive/private matters without much restrictions, continually feeding this very deep connection.

Respect

Unconditional love is not sought in this relationship (especially at the beginning). That is reserved for parental love. Parents must love their kids regardless of their behavior. As adults, we require to be treated with respect in order to stay in the relationship. If one's partner REPEATEDLY steps over boundaries, the deal is off. Life is challenging enough on one's own and it is plain unfair to have to carry more baggage because of another adult's carelessness.

Emancipation

Each person is allowed to be an individual within the relationship. Each one encourages the other to follow their goals, and passions instead of standing in her/his way. Both maintain a healthy balance of time together and apart. A bit of solitude is an essential aspect in any person's life. Also, one's relationships with others is not seen as a threat but more of a enhancement.  This maintains a good freshness between them. The need to be constantly around one's mate is plain unhealthy.

Separation

Both must be able to care for the other with a good deal of detachment. One mustn't feel too responsible for the other. Each is only responsible for her/his own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Only in this way can both truly feel free to want to be with one another. By continually affirming each others personal empowerment as capable and separate individuals, a sense of appreciation is maintained. Yes, this is contrary to pop culture where it is considered cool for one to have a clingy, desperate, and intense attraction for one's lover, sometimes even going to the extreme of feeling like "dying" if abandoned. There is always a choice in a relationship. Very simply, being with someone is an option.