Why Kids Trust Their Peers More Than Their Parents

We live in a world where adolescents are known to rebel against their parents. As parents, we dread our kids entering middle school because we fear that is the developmental stage in which they will “hate us.” They will establish friendships with other children and we can only hope that those friendships will be positive influences. Will our kids hang out with the bad kids—the kids who skip school or do drugs? Will grades start to drop?

What can we do to keep our kids close to us? There’s a physician by the name of Gabor Maté who has written books on peer orientation. He also facilitates seminars for parents to learn how to communicate and interact with their children in a loving and understanding manner. Maté addresses the compass point as a function of attachment. In a child’s life, their parent(s) and/or teachers become compass points. Children were meant to revolve around their parents. So why is it that more and more children are revolving around other children instead? If a child replaces the parent for a peer as their compass point, then they are less likely to refer to a parent for guidance and support. Thus, another child, or peer, becomes the person they turn to for understanding. 

This book is worth reading because it not only educates parents on why kids stray from them, but it provides practical strategies that can be used in day-to-day life to regain their children's trust.

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