There is Cherokee legend about an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."
He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
This great story could not outline better the differences between those two sides in each of us. If we investigate deeply into the origin of our ego, we will discover that it is not something we are born with nor is it something we consciously began to create. Rather it is what develops automatically in us from living in this crazy world. Since the time of our birth, it becomes this collection of all our social conditioning and the defensive walls we erect in reaction to life's painful experiences (which includes the negative messages we have received from others). It is fed predominantly in an environment of scarcity ( where we don't get enough of our physical and emotional needs met).
Think back to a period of time in your childhood when you were consistently teased, hated on, bullied or unfairly punished. How did you respond to it? Did you become less trusting, more insecure, and apathetic? Did you consciously choose to react this way or was it spontaneous? With each occurrence did you build up your guard more, making it a deeper part of your personality? If you answered "Yes" to all of these then is it fair to say that, as time has passed, this set of unhappy reactions is now one big habitual creature? This is just a small example of how it grows unsuspectedly in a person's mind and heart.
The reality today is that we have very little choice (or much of a will) in the moment when we are not even aware of this ego, of how it formed in us, how it is running our lives when we are on autopilot, and how destructive it really is.
So what is it like to exist without this ego?
It is quite simple... this is when we are operating much closer to our true human potential. We feel free to play, to explore, to truly learn, to contribute and to treat things around us with the respect and appreciation they deserve. We are free to realize that we are interconnected and that we all have come to this existence from the same divine all-powerful source.
Let's reflect for a moment on how it is to (try to) love another person with our ego. We often start by enjoying that person. After the honeymoon period, inevitably, things lead to conflict, fear, insecurity, jealousy, lots of limitations, desperation, loneliness, boredom, pressure and/or selfishness. This is unfortunately how most of us experience love and relate with each other.
Flipping things around, what is it like to love another person in the absence of this ego? It would be an experience of consistent harmony, trust, abundance, freedom, fluidity, appreciation, understanding, warmth, playfulness, and cooperation. Promises and sweet talk are not a requisite here because, when we think about it, only the ego needs reassurance. Our higher self is much more grounded, connected, and fulfilled with life in general. From this level of awareness, groundedness, and freedom, we are able to supply each other with continuous intelligent and nurturing acts of love.
We must become acquainted with our ego in order to no longer feed it and, by doing so, set ourselves free.
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